creative little daisy

For the record

A couple days ago, Alyssa told me she was laughing and crying, reading my old blog posts. She said she loved finding pictures of a baby Bayleigh. I told her I do too. She reminded me that the words I put down here are an autobiography, of sorts. I regret that there are so many large gaps.

I have blamed the quiet on being busy being a nana, and that's true. I've also blamed it on a lack of creativity, and Lord knows that's true. In complete honesty though, it likely has more to do with fear of exposure. Fear of examination. Fear of reality.

It's easy to share toddler adventures and paint colors. It's not so easy to share days of doing nothing but sitting on the couch, when even the energy to make the bed eluded me. The sneaky thing about chronic illness, is how your reality changes from day to day depending on your health. No matter how positive your outlook, string a few of those bad days together, and your mind starts to forget how life felt on those good days. Even though I have way more good days than bad, let me have a bad stretch and my little mind goes all woe is me up in here. And I'm just not a woe is me kind of girl.

If I take the time to write a few words on those good days, take note of something that made me smile, and hit "publish", two years later, I can come back on a bad day and remember that happy time. That happy thought will be saved forever. I like that. I love that my daughter can visit my blog and catch a few glimpses of a time that went by oh so fast. Why can't they stay little longer?

Today is a great day, a very welcome warm sunny day. I went to sweat with the oldies and thoroughly enjoyed myself. 

I need to explain that last sentence. Please don't judge me.

I'm currently enrolled in 12 weeks of pulmonary rehab. The purpose is to provide medically supervised exercise and education designed to improve breathing for patients with lung disease.  It just so happens,  most of the folks who participate are senior citizens. At 45 I don't go many places anymore that I'm the youngest, but here, I'm the baby,  mere spring chicken. So, every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I go and sweat with the oldies. (a little play on words for the old Richard Simmons Sweatin' to the Oldies workout videos)

I've not told my senior friends I call them the oldies, but I don't think they would mind. They are a fun bunch. This will be my second round of pulmonary rehab at this center and both times, I've had the luxury of  feeling like the youngest, most physically fit one in the crowd.  That doesn't happen much, so I'll take it where I can get it.

Sweet little blog of mine, why do I neglect you so?

I have have so many fascinating things I would love to talk about. Like...

• My cat's hyperactive thyroid
• Making pompoms out of yarn
• Spring (did you hear that NC? enough with the cold, it's SPRING!)
• Bayleigh. I Never run out of Bayleigh stories, like the time I said son of a gun, and she asked if I meant son of a #@$&*. Yes she did.
• I can't remember if I introduced you to Lola. Did I? A chihuahua mix I found abandoned beside the road.
• Early menopause. Oh joy!
• Trying to learn new makeup strategies for a face that isn't as young as it once was. 
• Pillowcase dresses. So sweet aren't they?
• Our pending induction into the club of jobless folks. The plant where Mitch has worked for the past 26 years is closing in a couple of months. Oh my!
• Some of my new favorite things.

See,  just that quick I came up with ten potential blog posts. I have absolutely no excuse. Where shall I start, the starving cat or menopause? Job loss or stray dog? Foul mouthed four-year-old? You tell me, what are you just dying to hear about?

Since April 14th

My last real blog post, and embarrassingly enough, it was about not blogging regularly and how I was going to change that. Nothing like being a woman of your word, right? Yikes.

Since then, I have

• celebrated my 25th wedding anniversary
• celebrated Bayleigh's fourth birthday
• gone to the beach, twice... oh yea!
• painted my front door yellow (jury's still out)
• missed my son every minute of every day
• been quite healthy
• cut my hair short again
• tried a few pinterest recipes, all good
• pushed a little one on her swing, too many times to count
• cleaned out my underwear drawer... organization has to start somewhere, right?
• missed this blog

 

It's going to take a while to catch up

If anyone is still out there reading my blog, I am so sorry I seemed to have fallen off the face of the earth. I have no good reason, but I have thought about this little space every day. It's always with me in the back of my mind, but after a while it gets kind of like that mystery tupperware in the back of the fridge. You know it's back there, but have forgotten what's inside and are afraid to open it.

The blog has been on my mind, but where do I pick up after such an absence. I guess, like the mystery dish, you just take a deep breath and go for it. Get out whatever has been closed up in the dark recesses, wash it out, and start fresh.

Don't worry, there isn't anything gross and moldy lurking in my dark recesses that I'm going to spring on you guys, just the routine boring stuff I usually babble on about.

I've been up to a lot of this and that, you know,  just living. Being a nana mostly, my favorite thing in the world to do. 

My plan is to go through the many unedited photos I've taken since my last post and share some of what I've been up to. I've missed you my friends!

I have recently taken a liking to instagram. My very original name there is autumhall, if you'd like to follow along.

Be back real soon, I promise!  Maybe even later today.

Really??

How did I not know this? I was nominated for an Apartment Therapy Homie Award and I didn't even know it. I was doing a little more blog tweaking this morning and noticed a referral to my blog from the Everything Typepad blog. That peaked my interest so I clicked over to see that I was one of the Typepad blogs nominated under the DIY category. I'm really bummed. Not that I would have won, but I could have let my readers know and shamelessly begged asked you to vote, pretty please with a cherry on top.

Oh well, a day late and a dollar short, I guess. Thank you to the three people who voted for me anyway. Had I known I could have managed at least three more votes from Alyssa, Kelli and Mitch. I'm sure my sister would have voted for me too. Unless you have to have a blog to vote. I don't even know the rules.

I'm happy to have been nominated, and so bummed that I didn't know. I definitely would have campaigned. Maybe next year.

I've been a little under the weather for a few days and have felt like doing little more than sitting on the couch. I've taken advantage of the down time by giving some attention to my neglected blog, uploading photos to my forgotten flickr account and also taken a few trips down memory lane by reading some old posts. It really made me appreciate having this little journal and reminded me how important it is to just blog. Stop worrying about who is reading and how it will be accepted. Some of the posts that meant the most to me, may not have been the most "popular" in terms of hits or referrals, but I'm so glad to have captured those moments.

On one of those personal notes, I have a proud mama moment I can't let get by without mentioning.

I think you all know that my son Casey is a Marine. His job involves maintenance of this big bird, a V-22 Osprey. He and his dad teamed up and did some painting.

 

The quality of some of these photos isn't the best. Casey took them with his phone and he said he got overspray on the lens.

I'm super proud of both my talented guys and so glad they had this opportunity to work on such an amazing project together.

In the middle of the information super highway driving a tractor

That's what I feel like sometimes. I just can not keep up. I guess it doesn't help that every little bit I know about blogging has been self taught. I'm not a very good teacher. I'm a good worker, but not a good teacher.

So, apparently Google Friends Connect is going bye-bye. I'm not even sure if I should be upset.  See, I told you I'm darn near clueless. I don't want to loose any friends, not friends who read my blog and I also don't want to loose the blogs I've subscribed to. I use Google Reader, will my GFC subscriptions no longer be updated? Clueless I tell you.

Why does Google have to be all sneaky in trying to make folks try Google +?  Another learning curve I have to navigate. Folks, I'm not getting younger. I'm not nearly as sharp as I once was. Not that I was ever the sharpest tool in the shed.

So, can anyone enlighten me? What do I need to do to assure we can all still be friends?  BFFs.

While googling around to try to find some answers, unsuccessfully btw, I came across a suggestion to check out Bloglovin. First I'd heard of it, but I'm going to try it out.

Anyway, I guess I'm going to have to devote some time to tweaking the blog a bit. It looks like a dinosaur in this world of sleek and sophisticated blogs. I need to streamline things, remove some things, add some. Lord help me, my head hurts thinking about it. I guess the GFC gadget will be the first to go. If you are following me through GFC and would like to continue reading my sporadic and semi interesting ramblings, please follow me through... oh I don't know,  some other method. There's a Blogloving button over there on the left, there's also a button that lets you follow through a reader of your choice.  I added the Google + badge, but I'm mad at Google for starting this whole mess to begin with. I'm mad at Picnik too. I'm mad and pouting.

Now, aren't you glad you checked in here today for all this positivity? You are welcome. Now I'm off to take some motrin and  demo work on this blog. Can't I just spray paint it?

Happy Friday!

I'm want to try to be a better blogger. I used to have no problems blogging.

Even when I didn't have anything special to blog about,

I blabbered on about something.

It kept the blogging muscle toned, so to speak.

Like everything, the more you do it the easier it becomes.

Use it or lose it.

These days I get too caught up in feeling

very insignificant in this world of the

Super Blogger.

Like what I have to say surely doesn't matter

when there are dozens and dozens

of blogs out there that are big and flashy.

I know I've published nearly identical words.

I've said all this before. 

I'm still struggling with it.

I love my blog.

I love the friends I've made through blogging,

I want to be here more.

So forgive me as I struggle with my insecurities and try

 to

restrengthen my blogging muscles.

Happy Friday friends.

Happy Veterans day.

Happy 11-11-11!

I'm going to get a much needed hair cut today.

And color.

I really, really need color.

My roots are about two inches long and very gray. 

Later today Alyssa, Bayleigh and I are driving to

West Virginia for the weekend.

I don't really like long road trips,

but my hair will be cute,

and I will be with my favorite girls.

Happy weekend friends!

I love you bunches!!!

 

 

 

Ever feel like a dog chasing its tail?

That's how I'm feeling lately. Like I'm going round and round in circles and getting nowhere. My mind is spinning with things I want to be doing but for one reason or another things just aren't happening. I never used to be one to have lots of half-done projects floating around. Just the opposite. I was very one track minded, focusing on one thing and only that thing until it was done. Right now I have more projects started than I can count. Maybe if I try counting a few it will shame me into gear.

• I've got a half naked chair on my back porch I'm in the process of reupholstering.

• I drug and old ottoman out of the attic I want to make a slipcover for and use in the living room. It's sitting in the living room in all its ugly dirty green gingham glory in my gray living room. Not very cute. 
• The dressers in my bedroom have been in the early stages of a redo for about a month now. I spackled the ugly 80s carved  flowers in preparation for  painting them and that's as far as I got. White spackle on black dressers,  really not cute. You know how when you are happy with a room, the way it looks, you tend to keep it cleaner. Keep the bed made, keep clothes from piling up. Yea, lets just say, it's quite apparent I have fallen out of love with my bedroom. I have plans, but you know where they are, right? Yea, spinning around between my ears.
• I did get one project completed that delights me to no end. I organized my spices. I even took before and after photos and everything, but guess what? I can't find the camera I took them with. (long story) I've looked all morning. I finally gave up on the before photos and decided just to take more afters with my big camera. Battery's dead. I have one interesting thing I could blog about, but can't find or take photos. Is this a conspiracy?
• I'm sitting in my sewing room that looks like a small bomb exploded and dropped things everywhere including new fabric for making pillows for the living room. Before any sewing can happen some cleaning has to occur. Chasing my tail! All I can do is chase my tail.
• I did manage to clean the shower in my bathroom last night. Scrubbed and scrubbed till it shines, and it still smells like mildew. What the? Chasing my tail. 
• My laundry room... I can't even talk about the state of my laundry room.

OK, enough public humiliation. There is still time in the day to get something accomplished and Alyssa has taken Bayleigh to the movies. I declare I'm stepping away from the computer and getting at least one project finished. I'll be back with something to report tomorrow. Promise. If you don't see me here, please send me stern emails with words like young lady and what do you have to say for yourself?

 

**One more thing before you go. We are having outdoor movie night on Sunday. Like we did for Bayleigh's birthday. The last time it all centered around the movie Tangled. It was beautiful and magical and all had a wonderful time. All but Bayleigh. She fell asleep before the movie started and woke up midway through to throw up. Turns out she had strep. So to make it up to her we're doing the movie part again. We haven't decided upon a movie yet. Any suggestions for a good family friendly movie that adults and kids would enjoy?

Forty-three

That's me, 43. How about 43 bits of random useless info, shall we?

1. I'm delighted to be getting older. Beats the heck out of the alternative. I do not however delight in some of the joys associated with getting older. Hot flashes can go back where they came from thankyouverymuch.
2. I'm not digging summer too much this year. Too dang hot for me. May have something to do with the aforementioned hot flashes.
3. Do you remember a while back I may have complained a bit about being skinny. Having trouble gaining weight? Well forget everything I said. Not an issue anymore. Maybe I'm not that delighted with getting older after all.... I kid. About the delighted part. Not the weight part. I've had to buy all new pants. Lets talk about something else.
4. I ripped the bead board wall paper off my bar last week only to put more right back up. What I took down was black. I wanted it white. I also pulled off the baseboard.
5. I bought new chunkier baseboard. In my mind I would cut and install it myself. I just needed Mitch to explain the miter saw to me. Yesterday he cut it for me. No griping was involved.
6. I love that man. He puts up with a lot. 
7. The chunkier baseboard has created a bit of a dilemma. I may be coming to you my friends for some advice. You never fail me.
8. I love being a nana. Bayleigh is the cheese to my crackers, the peanut butter to my jelly. She's my girl. Sometimes she drives me just to the edge of crazy and I tell her I'm running away.
9. I wouldn't get very far before I missed her terribly.
10. Both of my kids are adults. How did that happen?
11. I'm so very glad my kids aren't teens anymore.
12. They drove me well past the edge of crazy, but they are pretty great young adults.
13. I love my kids.
14. I'm very proud of them. 
15. I've developed an unhealthy pinterest addiction. Seriously. Somebody organize an intervention.
16. I seem to enjoy cooking more these days. (See #3)
17. I blame pinterest.
18. I do not enjoy cleaning up after cooking. I blame my family.
19. I think I'll declare this the year of if I cook it, you clean it. Sounds good to me.
20. I should be doing laundry right now instead of making silly lists.
21. Oh well, if it weren't lists, it would probably be pinterest.
22. I remember when 43 seemed old.  Not so much anymore.
23. I'm going to paint part of my lower cabinets white. See #4. Bought the paint last weekend at the Sherwin Williams sale.
24. I have no new progress to report on the attic.
25. I'm very happy with the stairs.
26. When I was a child, I dreamed of living in a house with an upstairs. When you live in a trailer, a house with stairs seems like a big deal.
27. It tickles that kid in me to see those stairs.
28. My favorite desert is tiramisu.
29. I started getting xolair injections. I've only had one shot. Anyone else on it?
30. For a long time I felt sure I was going to die young. That my only hope was to get a lung transplant and that prospect scared the bajeebers out of me. I don't really feel that way any more. 
31. I've decied not to put so much stock in what the doctors say. When you have an unnamed disease, how can they know what your prognosis is?
32. I'm getting the xolair because I researched and asked about it, not because it was offered. You have to be your own advocate. Look out for yourself.
33. A childhood friend wished me happy birthday on facebook and told me I was her first kindergarten memory. I had no idea. I wonder what it was.
34. I have mixed feelings about facebook. I like the ease in which you can connect with friends and loved ones. Share pictures, say hello. But, I don't think it's the place to air all your problems. I wish there was a TMI button next to the like button. Some folks share TMI. 
35. Sometimes I don't wish people happy birthday on facebook because I feel like so many have already done so, mine won't matter. I feel differently now. Every single birthday wish I've received today had made me smile and I've been grateful for each one.
36. Clutter makes me crazy. Messiness makes me crazy. I've been feeling very crazy lately.
37. I blame my family.
38. I blame pinterest.
39. I blame that darn clean house fairy whose GPS must be broken.  Come on sister. Sprinkle your magic pixie dust already!
40. I wish I was the dog whisperer. Man, these dogs and their barking drive me crazy. I've tried that anti-bark thing that emits a high-pitched sound- worked for about a day. I've tried squirting them with water- worked for about a week. Any tips?
41. I'm not a fan of the Fresh Beat Band on Nick jr.  
42. I love to dine alfresco. Not so much at home, but when we go out, I love to eat outside if possible. Not in this 100+ degree weather though.  Something about eating a good meal and sipping a glass of wine outside that makes it seem more special.
43. I made it to 43. Even though I may not post here as often as I used to, I still love this little corner of my world and I hope to keep hanging out here for many years to come!

Dang it's hot and other ramblings...

Is it as hot where you are as it is here in the stinkin', sweaty, humid beautiful southern US? If you walk outside after around 10am it feels like sticking your head in an oven. Seriously. I prefer warm weather to cold, but a nice comfortable spring would have been nice.

Since I last visited this spot, there have been changes. Large and small. I've done some sewing, mostly skirts for Bayleigh. Talk about your instant gratification. I made three in one day. In a matter of a couple of hours. No pictures, sorry. I had some computer issues, as in both my laptop and desktop decided to die within days of each other. Nice.

I do have pictures of our little garden. We did two beds this year instead of one.

 We should be able to have a 'mater sandwich in a few days. Yum!

 Bayleigh and I love to go out every day and see what's growing.

She got a trampoline for her birthday. It's right beside the garden and at least once a day she jumps and I pull weeds.

We've been blowing bubbles again this year. I don't know who loves it more, me or her. Or is it she or I?

Bayleigh got a tattoo. Yea we went to Myrtle Beach for bike week and she got her first tat.

I kid! We didn't really go to bike week and she didn't get a tattoo. Not a real one anyway. But she has temporary ink all over. On her arm, on her leg, on her side. It isn't pretty at church I tell ya, but she loves them. She wants to be like her mommy. That's so funny to me. Growing up, that's not something I ever heard a kid say. I want a tattoo, like my mommy. Times they are a changin'. Alyssa only has one, by the way. I think that may have sounded like Bayleigh wanted to be covered in tattoos, like her mommy. Not covered, just one.

I've seen some really interesting ones on pinterest and have even given thought to getting one. I think I'm too old for that though. Too old and not nearly cool enough. I'd want something small but meaningful. Alyssa wants us to go together and get one. We'll see. What are your thoughts on tattooed grannies?

Speaking of pinterest, are you pinning? I'm so addicted. That's probably part of the reason I've not posted in a while. Most of my computer time is spent on Pinterest. I think I should be sufficiently inspired enough to keep me busy for the next six years. If only I could stop pinning and start doing.

On the topic of doing... don't you love how I flow from topic to topic? Mitch, Alyssa and I have a big project ahead of us.

 

Alyssa and Bayleigh will be moving back home. We are going to convert our unfinished bonus room above the garage into an attic apartment. It will be almost entirely DIY. We will probably have to get some professional help with a few things like electrical and maybe building the stairs. Right now we just have fold down attic stairs.

We are thinking of starting a separate blog with updates about the progress of our tiny budget reno. Are you interested in following along? We'd love to hear suggestions about making the most of a small space. It's 11' x 22'. We aren't sure yet if everything will be upstairs or if we will close off part of the garage as well. If you've done anything like this and have words of wisdom, we'd love your input.