because I have much to say

because it brings me a lot of joy

because it has had a positive impact on my life

because it is always right there, in the back of my mind...

just a few of the reasons I can't let this quiet little blog of mine go.

So, here I am, after another long silence. Wondering if anyone still visits. Especially with the recent demise of google reader.

Anyone out there?

Hello : )

I'm still here. Sitting on my porch this morning in soggy North Carolina. Boy, it's been a wet summer in my little corner of the world. It's nearly noon in the middle of July in North Carolina and I'm on my front porch wearing a sweater. What???

I've been spending lots of time, here on the porch. Rocking and thinking. Sometimes accompanied by my favorite little 5 year old, sometimes just me.

I love my porch. The house I lived in for part of my growing up years had a big front porch. It was my great-grandmother's house. We lived there with her because she had Alzheimer's disease. It was my great-grandmother, my granny, my mom, my sister and my granny's brother all living in this house.

I have such fond memories of that house and that porch, probably because it was the only time in my life that my mom was there and was going to be there. She wasn't going to be gone for days or weeks or months. She wasn't going to be in a hospital or another state because of drugs. She was off drugs and was there when I went to bed and there when I woke up. She had to nearly die to get to that place and it only lasted a few years before she would die from lung disease, but for that brief time of my life, it was good. For once, to let down that heavy burden I'd always been dragging around. The worry, the shame, the fear, the anger, the disappointment, all wrapped up in one heavy bundle, it got really heavy sometimes. So, for those couple of years that I was able to put that bundle away, it was a good place to be. Time spent on that porch with my mom and my granny, my sister and whoever else happened to be over, those were good times. 

I knew when I had my own house, it had to have a porch. Maybe to me it was a tangible representation of that treasured feeling of security I felt. That security that my family was together and at peace.

I do a lot praying on this porch of mine. A great deal of self analysis and soul searching as well. Things haven't fallen right into the place I sort of always expected they would. Not in a bad way, really, just not what seemed to be the natural progression of life in the little dream I'd dreamed. I sit here and pray for God to help me be at peace for what is not and what may never be. 

Mostly though, my prayers are of gratitude. Things may not be just like I'd hope they would be, but they are pretty darn good, none the less. I'm so undeserving of the blessings I've been given, how can I be anything but grateful?

How is the summer shaping up for you, my friends?

 

Comments

[LauraUK]

I am here, here in the UK on the hottest day for many a moon, in a north facing room with the blinds drawn, sitting still, thinking cool thoughts ... quite the contrast. Although I have not commented before, I am always pleased to see you "pop up" on my RSS feed. Long been amazed - not only by your creativity, but your seeming boundless energy. You seem in no way to be constrained in what you do by health issues, although I seem to remember there are those. So I for one am glad this siren blog still gives you some pleasure; please don't let it go. LauraUK

[Carol]

Always love your post, don't let it go we are here :). Grateful for your sharing.

[Dena M]

Seems as though we're getting the beautiful sunshine on the west coast and the east coast is getting all the rain. I've always loved porches, especially wrap around ones. I'm not sure why, since I don't recall ever living in a home with one, but they always seem to be the gathering place for family and friends. I suppose it's from all those movies and shows I watched as a child, and now as an adult, that conjurs those feelings. Good to see you post again.

[missy]

Lovely post!

[Jo]

Hi from Australia! I love those photos and the garden. It is raining here today too - quite relaxing after a long dry spell.

[Rita]

I'm still here waiting for you to come back. I have missed your blog posts so much! Very thankful to have you back. ~ Rita

[Carrie]

I'm right here in NC with you soggy & more than a little tired of the rain. However, like you it is so nice to sit on the porch and listen to the rainfall & think. I love my front porch & my screened porch out back, there is no better place in the world. We just moved to the Queen City & it's rained here every day since we moved in, the only thing I do like is the cooler temps it brings with it {otherwise we would hardly be able to sit out in the middle of July}...silver linings...blessings...staying positive ; ). Lovely post.

[Doris L]

What a lovely post! Just like Laura I have been reading your blog for quite a few years. I discovered it during a bad time in my life when I started sewing (again) for distraction and used your tutorial on how to insert magnetic snaps in purses (and it's still my favorite way). I've been reading every since, no matter how often you post. I am very impressed by your remodeling and decorating skills and your ability to use power tools (those intimidate me). Looking forward to many more of your enjoyable posts. - Doris

[cindy the cottage chick]

What a sweet post....so glad to hear from you. I love porches too, and will have a covered front and back porch on the new build. I hope to spend lots of time navel-gazing and playing with my granddaughter....

We've had tons of rain too, but it's been stinkin' hot! Stupid humid too. I'm glad you haven't let this blog go. You're in my bloglovin' feed, so I'll be stopping by whenever you post...which I hope will be more frequently :)

Peace, friend.

[Kelly]

We still use the story of grandmas long beep beeps in our family and laugh and laugh! Keep posting. I am also a grandma of a 5 year old girl. My daughter found your blog and shared it with me a couple years ago. She will be so glad you're back too! I am moving to the south and hope to get a front porch as well!

[Shari]

We'll have some of that rain here, if you please.

Life seldom works out the way we think it should, or planned it to be. We can't always change those things we want to, but we can change our attitude and approach. Sounds like you're doing ok overall. Take care, and begin each day with a new spirit.

[Elaine]

Love the post. Good to hear from you! My husband and I sat out on our front porch yesterday and watched the Virginia Rain. We certainly haven't had a drought this summer! Have been to swim team practices, swim meet and baseball games in the rain.

[Autum]

Oh, the long beep beeps. Kids are so honest, aren't they? That still makes me laugh too.

I'm glad your daughter pointed you my way, tell her thank you for me :)

Have a wonderful Sunday!

xo Autum

[Miss Holly]

Well not to far away....marshfield massachusetts....looking across a salt marsh to the ocean....
When I first heard the word blog I thought "what a stupid word!"
May be a silly word but it is such a good thing....really important...in many ways I think it is going to save the world a bit....such an amazing way to commune....
I'm spotty on my site but I'm staying ....so glad your back...
It's sort of a dear diary with someone to answer back!!!
Love the porch....

[Michele Schiegner]

I used to live in North Carolina (Asheville,) and though I never had to wear a sweater in July, I really appreciated the coolness and low humidity that allowed me to go outside without dying from heat and fuzzy hair. Now I live in Southwest Florida and stay inside during the summer months. I do love the rest of the year, here, however. Glad you're blogging again and wish you all the best.

[Sandra W]

I've missed you Autum!! I have been following you for a few years (one of only two blogs I follow)... and seeing that email that you have made a post to your blog always makes me smile, and excited to get over to read it. Good blogs are like good friends - it doesn't matter how long between visits - you just pick up where you left off :)

I live in Ohio and in 3 weeks my family will be meeting at Topsail Beach (a tradition on my husband's side). So hopefully the sun will make an appearance for that week. I am originally from the east coast of Canada, so a week at the ocean ANYwhere does wonders for my soul. The sun, the sand, the smell, taste, and sound soothes me like nothing else. And sharing that with my hubby, and my 5 year old son (and all the NC cousins)... is just the best!.... better than any dream I could have imagined as a young woman. The older I get (42), the more often I find myself thanking god for unanswered prayers. :) xo

[Mary]

Happy to see your return. No front porch on my home...but I can understand the love of them. If the summer temps/humidity combination of the Mid-Atlantic weren't usually on the ugly side, I might appreciate one more. I don't do hot...think that comes from growing up in the UK.

Keep asking God for help to figure out the big (and little) picture. I know most of us have that as a daily struggle, too, so I'll say a prayer of peace for you right now.

[Zoanna]

Hi, there. Coming from Maryland where it is currently dry, for a change! I was tooling around online and found you liknked from a 2007 article by a quilter/blogger Busy Little Quilter. I loved this post, the honesty of your reflection on why a front porch is so important to you. Funny how our past visits our present in small ways. I will not live in a house without a basement because our family survived some tornadoes in Kansas i. Our basement. Now I.m going to ake a look at yiur qulit stuff! Gla I found you. Porches are great prayin' places i have poured out my soul to God, family, and friends on mine.

[Zoanna]

Oops. Could have stood to proofread that comment. Oy.

[Autum]

No worries :)  most things I send from my phone look just like that. 
You might have to dig around a bit for anything quilt related.  I've neglected my sewing room woefully. 
I'm so glad to hear that your family was safe in your basement.  Here in NC the water table is so high,  very few houses have basements.  There have been a few bad storms when I wished we had one. 
XO Autum

[Autum]

Hi Sandra! I'm so happy to hear you haven't given up on me.
I love Topsail.  Do you rent a house there?
My best friend has a camper at Roger's Bay campground.  She invites us down and we always leave so envious.  We love Myrtle Beach and go a couple times a year,  but Topsail is so much less hectic.  The beach is never crowded,  there are some great restaurants,  we would love to be able to put our camper there.  Maybe one day ;)

Enjoy your trip.  I hope the weather is beautiful for you. 

[Autum]

Hi Miss Holly. 
I agree,  blog is such a silly word,  and you summarized my blog precisely,  a dear diary,  with someone to answer back ;)
XO Autum

[Autum]

Hi Elaine!
Nope,  no drought this summer.  I haven't minded the rain except for the couple of times I had to drive in it,  in the dark.  I'm getting too old for that!
I hope you are enjoying your summer!
XO Autum

[Autum]

Hi Shari, 
It seems the entire country has been at extremes for the past year.  Extreme cold in parts of the country,  extreme snowfall amounts,  now extreme heat or extreme rain.
Today has been very typical for July in NC.  Sunny,  hot and humid. 
I hope it's been nice where you are.
XO Autum

[Autum]

Hi Cindy.
I feel like you and I are kind of blog sisters,  in that we seem very similarly different from so many of the current blogs.  We are about the same age,  I think and seem to share some of the same views on blogging. 

I know you will love hanging out on your new front porch with your granddaughter.  I'm a little envious,  you will be right next door to her,  right?
My daughter lives about 45 minutes away.  Not far at all in the grand scheme of things,  but next door would be nice :)
Take care cyber-sister
XO Autum