I hope it works

I'm not a spanker. I'm not firmly against a swat on the bottom to get attention when nothing else is working, but how can you expect a child to understand hitting is wrong if you use hitting as discipline. We use time out with Bayleigh. Or I should say we try to use time out. She's a very strong willed child. Very strong willed and if it isn't her will to sit down, you are going to have to sit on her to keep her in the chair.

The terrible twos seem to have waited to attack full on at three. We definitely notice a strong correlation between food and her behavior and are trying to greatly limit artificial coloring, especially brightly colored candies and fruit punch. Fruit punch + Bayleigh = wildfire out of control. Out. Of. Control. And just you try putting her in time out. She had one of these episodes this past weekend. We tried everything to reign her in. Alyssa put her in the tub and it worked for a few minutes, until she decided to sling with both hands water out of the tub and onto the floor. Bath time over. Fit throwing resumes.

We finally got her to settle down by getting her to use my peak flow meter.  It was really just a distraction, but taking deep breaths helped her to calm down to a reasonable level and wind down for bedtime.

Boy, that was a wordy bunch jibber-jabber to get to the meat of this post. I had this pinned on pinterest. Yes, again with the pinterest. I'm a junkie folks,. but in a good way. She calls it a mind jar and made hers with glitter glue, water, food coloring and glitter.

I made one for Bayleigh today. I didn't have any glitter glue on hand so I just used some gel tacky glue.

 
I filled a jar with water. I think this jar holds about 2 cups.

Then I added a few drops of food dye,

about 2/3 of the container of glue,

and several shakes of glitter.

I started out with a large flake glitter, but it sank too quickly.

This very fine Martha Stewart glitter floated slowly to the bottom.

The idea is you give it a good shake and let the child hold the jar while in time out, watching the glitter fall to the bottom is soothing and calming and also a timer of sorts.

I kept adding glue and glitter until it took about 2 minutes for the glitter to settle to the bottom.

Long enough for a screaming banshee to settle back into a sweet toddler. I hope. We shall see.

 

Comments

[Kathie Hill]

I love this idea for my 5 year old grandson. They are on a vegitarian diet and have been since DIL was preggie. Can't believe the diff between my two grandchildren. Anyway when a child is tired it doesn't really matter your diet so will see if this works for my son's little family. Just as a side note my thirteen yr old granddaughter (from my daughter) is now eating a more healthy diet and mom can notice a diff. BUT she comes from a broken home from parents who were to young to know how to parent and a grandparent (me) who wasn't allowed in much to help. Several of your comments mentioned children holding feeling in. PLEASE, PLEASE be so careful. Just learned my GD was holding in more than she could handle and tried once (so far) to cut herself. she saw a doc. about it on tv and wanted to know how it felt she said. NOT GOOD. Maybe I can work this little jewel colored jar of hopes into her life to help her with feelings she can't control either. Does it really matter the age? like someone said I might even like one for myself and may even give these out to the cancer center i still go to. we ALL have these kinds of moments of frustration, crying, tears at least and could use a short distraction. I thank you more than you will ever know for posting this. And may even hand these out as Christmas gifts (never to early to do the home made beautiful idea Christmas gift. So again thank you my friend (You probably don't remember me from a couple of years ago before the Cancer and stroke I was always writing in and bought purses from you etc. NOT a stalker I swear, just seem to see a lot in common and reading your comments and ides such as this one inspires me and always have, so tan you so much. Fibrogram; Kathie Hill e-mail is full so won't go through but promise that is me just have to get well enoughto empty it which hopefully will be soon.

[Jo Green]

Wow, what a great idea. I will have to suggest this to my sister-in-law who is having trouble with her 2 year old.

[Bridgette]

Are you having any luck?

[Wendy]

I highly suggest reading the dr. spock book. You dont have to do what is suggested, but it will give you info on the whys of her behavior. I got this because my son is well behaved for me all day long but a freaking maniac when his dad gets home. We eat mostly veggies and chicken and I make all of our food so i was able to cut that out. But since buying the book and reading parts to my husband he now does the ignore when the manic arrives at 6pm. Happily that mean monster is hardly ever around. :) insert happy face here!

Wendy

[Natasha]

I too have a child with sensory issues. (now age 10) I used something like this in a plastic soda bottle. Use super glue on the cap. I would put little plastic trinkets inside and it became a game (like Where's Waldo). We made several different ones, adding different things some with mineral oil. It was a good calming activity. Rain sticks are good too...you can google how to make one! I hope it helps your child!!

[Autum]

Thanks Natasha. I think she would like the trinket bottle. I have actually made rain sticks before as a bible school craft. I may make one and let her help.

[mommadunne]

There are lots of new resources to show us how detrimental spanking can be to brain development and future relationships. Might sound like hogwash to those who are accustomed to stopping bad behavior with a quick swat, but brain scans show the direct link between spanking, yelling,shaming, shunning,stress, and the cortisol that inhibits learning and emotional growth. The Science of Parenting is a terrific book on the topic.
The glitter shaker sounds like a positive twist on Time out - it does just what time out is designed to do - calm down and redirect.
I used to think a well-placed pop on the rear was okay,too. Not anymore.

[Ruth]

I love this idea. We may not use it for time out in our house but for calming down (my son has sensory processing disorder). Thank you

[partycraftsecrets]

Great idea - as the mother of two toddler girls, I have plenty of banshee moments (me and them!)

[Gina from Play-Based Classroom]

I've done this in the past, and it works like a charm. A few thoughts: Try it in a used (and washed out) gatorade bottle. It's plastic, so it won't shatter if a screaming banshee throws it or drops it. Also, try making a few back ups with different colors and different fillings. My favorite is crayon shavings. Good luck!

[Autum]

Thank you for the suggestions Gina. I am definitely going to try them. The screaming banshee wants nothing to do with the calm down jar once shes in full on banshee mode. It works great if shes in pre-melt down.  I also saw something on pinterest- pipe cleaners in a jar and a magnet to move the bits of pipe cleaner around.

[ashley]

I think I'll try this for my 3 yr old. I think I'll make it in an empty water bottle that I seal tight with super glue :) maybe this way it'll be safe for her to hold and might encourage sitting still (being a crazy will just make it take longer for the glitter to settle) ... my thoughts anyway

[Autum]

Hi Ashley,
I love the idea of an empty water bottle. Let me know how it works for you.

xo Autum

[smee]

punish: to cause someone who has done something wrong or committed a crime to suffer, by hurting them, forcing them to pay money, sending them to prison, etc.
discipline:training which produces obedience, willingness to obey, or self-control.

As parents are we choosing to cause suffering or training?

I was a child who grew up punished, so I punished my children...until I realized it wasn't changing behaviours, then I started training and things went from extremely frustrating to fabulous. I think this little jar is a great tool to help train a child to control their own thoughts and behaviours without causing them pain or suffering.

thanks for sharing it.
(mom of 5 kids -each 22months apart-, now gramma to their combined 8 kids)

[Girlsmommy31]

I feel bad for the two year old and the smearing poop. I can't imagine doing those things to a two year old. He is only two. Wow. Makes me sick.....sorry. There was a case around my area where a mom was doing the water punishment and it was considered child abuse. Sorry but I completely agree. Wow. Poor baby.

[Molly]

Great idea~ thanks for the Martha Stewart fine glitter tip. I am a preschool teacher and I know this will work great for some of my children.

[Jennifer]

My daughter had a problem with behavior, and I noticed the food thing too. I learned from a psychologist that it's not only the artifical colors, but the flavors as well. My daughter does not react to colors anymore, but artifical flavors like vanilian, and caramel color set her into an uncontrollable mode for 48 hours. Try getting those completely out of her diet for a few days and see the difference! It's amazing!

[Holly]

Purple = red + blue. :(
Green = blue + yellow
Orange = red + yellow

My son reacts to red and blue. The only color candy he can have is (ick!) yellow.

[Beverly]

Is that a glass jar?

[Kelsey]

I just tried making the "mind jar" but the glitter is not mixing with the water and glue. Any suggestions?

[Autum]

Hmmm... I'm not sure. I didn't have any trouble. When the jar is still, the glitter does settle to the bottom. When you shake it up it swirls around in the glue but then settles to the bottom. Maybe try adding more glue, is yours sinking too quickly?

[Becky]

this sounds like a great idea, but I'm fairly certain that my toddler twins would throw this on the floor (or drop it) at some point and I'd have a huuuuuuuuge mess.. any suggestions for something less breakable?? would a soda bottle do the trick??

[Autum]

Hi Becky,

I think a soda bottle would work, or any plastic lidded container. I agree that a glass jar may not be the best option when dealing with full on temper tantrums. At that point here, we have passed the point where this would work. It was meant to hopefully head off melt down mode ; )

Hope this helps!

xo Autum

[Diana]

Does this work when the child is just not listening to you at all?

[Autum]

Hi Diana,

At our house, no it doesn't work when she isn't listening at all. It is best used to redirect her, before a full on meltdown starts. Once in that mode, the jar just makes her mad and she won't even look at it.

For kids who will actually sit in time out, the jar is a great distraction to make the time go by. We have only had success with time out a few times. She looses her mind at the idea of sitting in a chair and it just makes things worse.

Wish I could say it is magic in a jar, but not for us.

xo Autum