creative little daisy

It's all good...

I sit here on this quiet Saturday morning overcome with just how good it all is. My intent was to type out a quick line or two to let everyone know that Bayleigh is home and doing well. How hard is that? As I gathered my thoughts and arranged the words in my mind it wasn't long before I realized this wasn't going to be a quick one line post. Boy, I've really got to do something crafty so I can stop with the gushy emotional posts already. It has been an emotional week, a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. What is this grandparent deal? Why is it you feel everything you felt for your own children, only magnified? I can't say that I love her more than Alyssa or Casey, but I love her differently. I love her louder and brighter and just thinking about it makes my heart swell and sends waves through my chest and up to my throat and brings tears to my eyes. It was terrifying to put that thermometer under her arm and see the numbers rise so quickly. It was heart wrenching to hear the fear in Alyssa's voice when she called to tell me how worried the doctor seemed. I felt so helpless when Derek called because he had to leave the room as the nurses stuck and stuck and stuck his precious little girl, trying to get enough blood for the tests. Her temperature normalized with one dose of tylenol and was normal for the rest of her hospital stay. By Monday morning she was happy and smiling and wondering what all the fuss was about.

What was causing the big, bad fever? A urinary tract infection. Not a common finding for a such a little one, so she's going to have more testing (outpatient)  to rule out something called  VU Reflux.

I wonder now if Alyssa understands why we tried so hard to shelter and protect her, if she realizes it was out of love that we said no, or seemed too strict. This week she felt a fear greater than any fear she could have ever experienced and Derek who has been to war in Iraq and Afghanistan. I dare say, this experience was just as scary. I'm very proud of these young parents and how they weathered this first storm of parenthood.

Now as I sit here on this quiet Saturday morning, reflecting on the week's events, a busy week of ups and downs, it feels so good to take a deep breath and relax in knowing, for this moment, it's all good.

There was another exciting event this week, but that deserves a post all its own.

And just like that, everything changed...

Of course, I knew things would be different. We'd be changing our routines, making room for the newest member of our family. I knew there would be joy and excitement. I knew I'd be proud. I knew I'd love the new little one, and yet, I didn't have a clue.  I have so much to say, so much to share. I wish you could sit at my kitchen table with a glass of iced tea and chat while I throw a load of clothes in the washer, catch up on the week's events while I do the dishes. I've been spending some of the weekend trying to do a little of the work that has fallen by the wayside while I've been attending to much more important matters, like staring at this beauty.

I'm learning a new role, the role of nana, and what a precious, wonderful gift is this new role. It's all together different from being a mom and yet I'm not sure I can put into words just how. All you other grandmothers know, it's just different. The love is pure and sweet and unencumbered by the worries and fears that come with parenting. Not only do I love this baby more than I thought possible, I have a whole new level of love and understanding for her mother. 

Priceless, that's the only way to describe the experience of watching my own daughter become a mother. Mitch and I were amazed by the strength and courage with which she brought this little one into the world and were so grateful to have shared in this precious moment in time. We were proud of how gentle and loving Derek was with her, even as he was scared to death.

I know the road ahead of them will not be an easy one. They have many sleepless nights ahead, but they will be just fine. I guess the gift of grandparent-hood is being on the other side of those sleepless nights and being able to just love.

Thank you,  thank you, many times thank you for all the sweet welcoming words for Bayleigh. Alyssa and I have read each and every one. I usually try to answer each comment personally because they do mean so much to me, but this time, please understand if I just say thank you to you all. I'm very busy these days, you know, with staring and such.

More pictures of the cutie here.

Hi, how was your day?

Mine was pretty good. Did a little thrifting, had Mexican food, went with Alyssa to the ob/gyn- not in that particular order. Alyssa's been having contractions, mild ones, but she wanted to get checked out.  It looks like Miss Bayleigh may have begun packing her bags and getting ready for life on the outside. No real labor, but the wheels have started turning. I know and have warned Alyssa, this could go on for days, maybe weeks, but I have a feeling, just like her mama*, this little one may arrive a little early. 
After the doctor visit, we hit a couple of thrift stores, no exciting finds unfortunately. I wanted a couple more sheets to make lounge pants. Thanks, by the way, for your nice words about those, the idea wasn't original. I knew I'd seen a picture on flickr or read a blog post where someone used a sheet to make lounge pants. It was one of those things I thought was a great idea when I saw it, but didn't have time to make any for myself- the seed was planted. I had a couple of thrifted sheets on the shelf waiting to be used. Why can't you find sheets like that new- smooth and soft, but at the same time crisp? They don't get all wrinkly and they don't pill. I miss sleeping under sheets like that. Ahhhh..... Where was I? Oh, the seed was planted, but I didn't remember by who. Then a few of you commented on what a great idea that was, so I thought it was important to point out, that yes it was a super idea, but not mine. All it took was a quick google search to find the original pants, and guess what, she was inspired by someone else. Good ideas  spread like wildfire through the blogoshere, don't they? Another great, but not original to me idea led me to make this pretty little bit of wall art for Bayleigh's room.

I was inspired by Erin who was inspired by Ali.  Alyssa punched the butterflies out of cards and gift tags from baby gifts she's received and I mounted them just the way Ali described, with foam dots. Easy art and I think it's pretty cute too. Thanks Erin, Ali, Leslie and Amanda for sharing and inspiring.

*Alyssa was six weeks early.

Showered with love...

My sister Erica, hosted Alyssa's baby shower this past weekend.  It turns out, the girl has some mad party-planning skills. It was filled with fun and food and lots of baby gifts. I'm so proud of her and grateful for all the work she put into making my girl's day extra special.

I was able to get the quilt finished in time for the shower, wasn't sure that was going to happen.

Thank you, so much for your wonderfully kind comments on the crib bedding. This project was  especially close to my heart and your love made it that much sweeter.  
I need to take a little break from baby sewing to get some other things marked off that never ending to-do list. Maybe I'll have some things to share this week that aren't pink. (in case you're getting a little bored with all the sugar and spice)

Attention to detail... noticed and appreciated

Casey has a part time job at a grocery store. He called me yesterday to come to the store with my camera to take a picture of what he called the best looking displays he'd seen. It seems Kevin (one of his managers)  puts quite a bit of time and attention into his displays, and Casey appreciates his work.

(you probably guessed, it's not a health food store)

Less is more. Much less.

When you've been a collector all your life, by the time you're in your 80s, you've likely accumulated a lot of stuff. That's the case with Mitch's aunt Gin. She's not only a collector (of many things) she's also the type of person who finds it very, very difficult to throw anything away. Anything. She's lived alone in a little house across the street from Mitch's parents for many years until a couple of years ago when she had a fall and was all alone. Since then she's lived with my in-laws. At first she would go to her house some during the day and sew or work in her yard, but feeling more and more frail, she's nearly stopped going home at all. When she heard Alyssa may be looking for a little house to rent she offered hers. The conditions were that Alyssa pay the utilities and look after her cat. She jumped at the offer and couldn't wait to get to work making the little house her own. Gin didn't mind if she painted, she just wanted to be sure none of her stuff was thrown away.

After about a week of scrubbing, and painting, and thinning, the kitchen is looking good. It's a sweet, cottage kitchen, just what Alyssa wanted. Gin went over for the first time yesterday to see the changes. It was hard to judge her reaction at first. She just kept saying it's not the same place. Finally I asked if she was sad, did she wish it was the way it had been. She shook her head and said no, I like it better this way. Phew, we were beginning to worry.

Nearly everything in the after pictures was there before, just lost among a lifetime of collections.  A few things are Alyssa's, like the knobs on the cabinets.

The tablecloth was my contribution.

The washboard wasn't always decorative, it was really used for washing clothes. The wooden bowl behind the rolling pin was made by Gin's father. It's a dough bowl for making biscuits. I doubt it will get any more use than the washboard in Alyssa's kitchen.

I better start looking for some fabric to dress up those windows.
Up next, the living room.

On an unrelated note, if you are interested in hearing me say ahhmm about 50 times in less than 5 minutes, check this out. When the very talented, very kind, Lori asked to interview me for her podcast, Sew Forth Now, I very nervously agreed. You see, I have a voice for blogging and I communicate much better when there's a backspace button. Lori did a wonderful job with the interview and made me feel very at ease. If you can stand to listen to my southern drawl (I can't) you might get some ideas for handmade Christmas gifts. Check out the other episodes while you're there.

What's in a name?

I feel much too young to be called granny, but in seven months I'm going to be one. I'd love to hear what your grandchildren call you or what you call your mama's mama. Some suggestions I've made that have been shot down include Sweetie and Veronica. Veronica you ask? Why not? I get to choose a new name for myself, it may as well be a cute one. 

A little disclaimer, for those who may not get my strange sense of humor, I'm joking about Veronica- but it is a great name isn't it?

Wearing the table linens

Scarlett wore the drapes, I'm wearing a tablecloth. It must be a southern thing.  Beki was so sweet to give me a heads up when she saw this tablecloth on ebay. On a whim yesterday, I decided it would get more use as a skirt since it was square and my table is round.

There was an image in my mind of what I wanted, so I went about trying to come close to the image. As it came together, it looked a little plain, it needed something... pockets. I remembered seeing a skirt with front patch-pockets in the Sew What! Skirts book, so I pulled out the book and hmmm... the skirt I remembered with patch-pockets was also made from a tablecloth. I guess the image in my mind was not original.

I used some Chocolate Lollipop fabric for the waistband, the pocket contrast and a hem binding. The binding made the hem too stiff, causing it to stand out away from the body, sort of like a hoop skirt. Although that look was great for Scarlett and her drapes, I wanted a little softer feel. With a quick run through the serger, the binding was cut off and in its place a rolled hem. Love that serger.

As it turns out, it's the perfect skirt for sipping root-beer floats with the girls.

Juliana Teresa,

and Harlie, my adorable nieces.

Overwhelming sadness combined with heartwarming admiration

That's what I was feeling tonight. It was an experience that I wish never to have had and at the same time one I will keep with me forever. Devon was Casey's friend, he was only seventeen years old and on Sunday night he lost his life.  It was a terrible accident, one that didn't have to happen. He was speeding and lost control and his car hit a tree. In an instant his life was gone and so many other lives will never be the same. We attended his wake tonight. It was heartbreaking and at the same time I was so impressed by the support shown by his fellow classmates. They lined up for several hours to let Devon's parents know how much they will miss him. At least 60% of the people there were teenagers and most of them came on their own.

Last night Casey got off work at 9:00 and wanted to go to WalMart. He wanted to buy tee shirts and transfer paper so that he could make shirts with a picture of Devon and the words You Will Be Missed. He wanted to do this because he needed to do something. Something to honor his friend. My heart was full of sadness and pride tonight as he and so many other young people came together with broken hearts to show their support to a hurting family. Such a grown up act. As much as it hurt to be there, I'm so glad I was able to witness this incredible display of love.

Devon, you will truly be missed.

Some talk about puking and a very special chair....

You know how it feels to throw-up? Well I can't speak for anyone else, but in my experience, there is that uncomfortable queasiness that gets progressively worse, eventually leading to feeling down right miserable. Myself, I fight it and fight it. I try laying very still, closing my eyes and hoping it will pass, but it doesn't. Eventually, I  give in and let it out. That part is pretty awful, but the moments afterward when you feel the release and the cramping and queasiness cease...ahhhh. I feel exhausted but so much better.  It's also a time when you want to be alone (speaking for myself again). You don't want anyone to see you sick like that, but when someone taps on the door and puts a cool cloth to your forehead it's such a comforting feeling. Not really a pleasant picture I've painted, but it pretty much sums up my last post. So much was building up inside and holding it in only made things worse. Finally writing about it, putting some of my thoughts and feelings out there relieved some of the pressure building inside. Then when your comments of care and concern started to pour in I felt a little embarrassed and sort of exposed, and like I'd needlessly worried my friends. The more I read the more it felt like a cool comforting cloth across my forehead. So, so many words of kind, gentle, and heartfelt support.

What I'm trying to say is although it feels like I had a bit of emotional puking, followed by relief and a little embarrassment, I do feel much better and so very comforted. Words can't express how touched I am by your kindness and comforting words. Thank you!! Thank you all, so much!

I'd like to say I was just over reacting and things are now sunshine and roses, but the truth is most days I feel like a bird in a hurricane. As my children struggle with what seems to be an unusually harsh transition into adulthood we are a family of birds in a hurricane. I'm reminded everyday how little control I really do have no matter how hard I struggle. Letting go, even a little does help, as scary as it may be. It's hard to talk about feeling out of control when the world tells us moms are supposed to hold the family together and be strong for everyone. Yesterday I finally had a moment of realization that I am in fact not in control and the struggle to try to be is getting the better of me. I called my sister-in-law who happens to be my GPs nurse. I didn't know why I was calling or what I thought I needed. It wasn't like I had a sore throat or a fever. Can you call the Dr. for a broken heart? I don't know but I did and completely broke down trying to tell her why I wanted to come in. I'm not sure why I'm talking about this. Maybe because so many of you have said you can relate to much of what I've said. Anyway I felt pretty calm at the doctors office but when she took my bp it was 154/101. My blood pressure has never been high. Even in pregnancy the highest it's ever been is 110/80. I say this because stress doesn't just affect you emotionally it affects you physically. I know this, I'm a nurse but I really didn't know it.  I don't have any more answers today than I did yesterday, but I do know I have to find a different way of finding those answers.

When I sat down to post I really, really didn't intend to go into all that. I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for the cool comforting cloth. Although posts like that (and I guess like this one has turned into) leave me feeling exposed and a little embarrassed, they also feel like a release and judging by my blood pressure, I need to find all the releases I can.

Speaking of releases, is there any better release than finding a bargain, a gem you weren't even looking for?

What I did intend to post about was a chair.  Can a chair change your life? I hope it can.  Alyssa and I went to lunch and the library and stopped by an antique place we have fallen in love with. We never buy much, if anything, but we love to look. Not everything is antique, some things are brand new mixed with antiques. It's not an old, dusty place like some antique shops. It has separate rooms with different themes and it's almost like walking through the pages of a magazine like Country Living or Romantic Homes. You go in and feel intoxicated with excitement for all the beauty everywhere you look. We'd been browsing for a while when Alyssa found a chair she liked. It had a blanket thrown across the back and some books stacked in the seat. She moved them to get a better look, sat down and gave it a try. It was pretty comfortable. The more she looked the more she liked it. She wasn't in the market for a chair. Why would she want a chair? Like started to evolve into love when she looked at the price tag. $49.00.

Alyssa: Mom, can we buy this chair?

Me: For what? I don't need a chair and I'm not sure I even like that one. What do you want it for?

Alyssa: My house.

By the way, Alyssa doesn't have a house.

Alyssa: Really Mom, I'll pay you for it and I can put it up to save for my house.

Me: OK.

So we buy the chair. On the ride home the like that turned to love was now giddiness.

Alyssa: Ohhhhh I love my chair, I'm so excited about my chair. I'm going to start a fund. A my house fund. Can we set that up so I can start saving for my house?

.

She was even more excited when she got home and saw a picture she had torn out of an Anthropologie catalog some time ago and put on her inspiration board.  See the similarities?

It scanned much more yellow than it really looks. It looks nearly the same green as Alyssa's chair. I showed her that if she wants we can pull the skirt off (it has nice legs)  to make it look more like the Anthro version, but she decided to keep the skirt for now.

Maybe I'm crazy but I felt like I may be witnessing a turning point. An important moment in my little girl's life. Growing up is never easy and it is even harder when you aren't sure where you should go or what you want to do with your life. Especially when you feel like you've detoured off the path you were supposed to be on. You don't want to be a child but you don't know how to start being an adult. We had a little talk about how that chair could be just the beginning of her life, her independence. It was a tangible piece of evidence that she just has to know what she wants and go after it. The chair will be the first piece to go into what she can now imagine as her house. Her grown up house. She recently took a test for nursing school that told her she is a visual learner. Maybe having this visual is what she needed to see her future. Her future that will include a little house that she can fill with pretty green chairs if she wants.