Do you? Times you want to do something, help in some way, make things better but you just don't know how. Some people seem to have a gift, they know just what to say and do when there is a crisis. They spring to action and take charge. They make decisions and delegate tasks. No hesitation.
Not me. I'm the type that watches from afar, wishing I knew what to say, and I usually say nothing out of fear of saying the wrong thing. Not wanting to impose or get in the way. Not wanting to seem like I'm trying to be in someone's business.
I'm not proud of this. I'm just paralyzed by my social unsteadiness. I don't visit sick people. Not because I'm not thinking about them and praying for them, but I worry I'll be in the way. I worry they'll wonder why I'm bothering them. What if I come at a time they want to rest?
I've gotten better about going to funerals, although for years after my mother and granny died, I just wouldn't go. Couldn't.
I have a couple of friends who are wonderful in times of need. They are the first ones to offer to bring food, send flowers, just visit. I so wish I had their gift for being angels at just the right time.
When a terrible tragedy happened this past spring touching very close to home, once again I was struck with that paralyzing feeling. That desire to do something but inability to know what or how. I found out about the accident at church. A young boy, a car accident. A life ended too soon. He was Alyssa's age, they had gone to school together since kindergarten. He dated and planned to marry a girl very close to our hearts. Sara is also Alyssa's age and they have been friends since they were babies. Our families attend the same church and have known each other for as long as I can remember. We also live on the same street. When I heard about the terrible accident, that had happened just the night before, I wanted to go to Sarah, to hug her and say how sorry I was, but stayed frozen in place. What if she's too upset for visitors? What if she thinks I'm just being nosy... what if my presence upsets her? My heart ached for her, for Zack's family. For everyone who was hurting. I prayed for them and cried for them and I was mad at myself for not doing more. So a week later at church when Sarah's mom came to me and asked if I would do something for Sarah, I couldn't say yes quickly enough. Something I can do. Something I feel comfortable doing. Something that in perhaps a small way can make things a little better. Sarah wanted to have a quilt made from Zack's tee-shirts to give to his mom. We talked it over and the next day she brought over the shirts. It was heart breaking to listen as she pulled each shirt out and told why it was special, what it meant, how it represented this life too short. She cried and I cried, Alyssa was here and she cried too. I was heartbroken for Sarah and for his parents but was so glad God had given me the ability to sew. I am not socially gifted, but I do have God-given gifts and here was a way I could put them to use. I was so thankful.
As we discussed how it would be laid out, the materials to use, we decided on a khaki colored cotton for the sashing and borders, since he typically wore khaki pants or shorts. She mentioned he also had lots of button-down cotton shirts she didn't know what to do with. I told her to bring them and we'd use those for the binding. We even used some boxer shorts on the back. I cut them in six inch squares in a strip across the back.
I'm wishing I got a better picture, boy does it need ironing! (honestly, it looked better in person) But after taking way longer to finish this than I wanted, I was too eager to get it into Sarah's hands. She cried when she saw it, I knew she would.