It was a beautiful day here in North Carolina yesterday. A wonderful day to just enjoy the sunshine and a good friend and that is what I did. Kelli invited me over to soak in some sun by her pool. I know all the dangers of sunbathing but honestly, I feel and look so much better with a little color and with so many other worries right now the sun was looking pretty good. We listened to old music and sang and talked. Kelli's daughter Emili gave me a massage and a pedicure. It was a wonderful day. I have pictures to prove it but I certainly am not posting pictures of myself in a swim suit and since I am a little scared of Kelli (she is stronger and can run much faster than me) I won't post pictures of her either. Just imagine two hot looking mamas. Oh, I don't know... I guess you could compare us to Eva Longoria (me) and Demi Moore (Kelli). Yea, come to think of it that is exactly what we look like in swimsuits, so just picture Eva and Demi lounging by the pool. Since I'm not posting those beautiful pictures here are some pictures of my back porch taken in better light. Followed by a borrowed meme.
I AM: having a tough time with what to put in this blank for some reason. I think recent events have me questioning so much that I guess I’m not even sure of who I am. I know this mood will pass and maybe next week I will confidently answer but today… blank….
I WANT: to live to be old
I HATE: When my life feels out of control. Like it does now.
I MISS: my Mom & my Granny
I FEAR: dying
I HEAR: only the ticking of the clock on the wall and the clicking of Gracie's’s feet on the kitchen floor
I WONDER: What I could do to be a better communicator. I have such a hard time saying what I am feeling and thinking. I often times just say nothing.
I REGRET: many things
I AM NOT: As caring and thoughtful as I would like to be. Many times in hindsight I can see what I could’a would’a should’a done but didn't. In my mind I am a thoughtful, kind, outgoing person. I just don’t always know how to put my thoughts into actions.
I DANCE: almost never
I SING: off key but I do it anyway
I CRY: often
I AM NOT ALWAYS: on time.
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: almost every day
I WRITE: So much more now that I have this blog than I have in years. I’m sure it is obvious from the grammatical errors.
I CONFUSE: people- I think I am very misunderstood. Many times I am accused of being in a bad mood when I’m not. I think fatigue is mistaken for unhappiness. Most of the time I am simply tired, overwhelmed and exhausted and could just use a hand instead of being asked “what’s wrong with you?” I would probably be a lot happier if I weren’t so tired. It is so frustrating that simple everyday tasks like sweeping the floor or making the bed can cause complete exhaustion but that is how it is when your lungs only function at 25% normal capacity. So that is a long winy way of saying, I’m not in a bad mood, I’m just tired!
I NEED: a sense of order and security in my life
I SHOULD: do some laundry
I START: Many things in my mind that never make it out of my mind.
I FINISH: things once I start them. I just procrastinate the starting part.